Hiding
by nightwish-shadowstalker
Summary: Stargate SG-1 fic. Rated for swearing, might change for later chapters. Daniel discovers an amulet with telepathic powers...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this is based on Stargate SG-1. I don't own the show, or any of the characters, except Matt, who does belong to me. Contains a gay relationship - don't like, don't read and don't send me crap about it.**

Part one – Hiding.

"Okay," Jack drawled, leaning back in his chair. "You think you've found this… amulet. But what does it actually do?"

Daniel sighed. "Supposedly, it can be used as a weapon against the Jaffa armies. Not as in a conventional weapon – it's meant to be able to 'open the mind to the light of reason' and 'bring down the false gods', so I'm guessing it uses some form of telepathic control or ability."

"And you want to go looking for it on your own?" Sam looked dubious. "If it's that powerful, couldn't it be used on you?"

"Better to lose one of us than all of us," the archaeologist replied. "Besides, I'll have a communicator and I'll be checking in regularly. If I miss the check-in, then you guys come looking. Simple. And," he added pointedly, "I know what I'm looking for. And I won't complain about being bored."

"See, that's what I don't like," the colonel commented. "Whenever you say it's 'simple', I start to get worried. And I do not complain."

"I believe Daniel Jackson is right," Teal'c said. "We will be in regular contact, and he may be better able to locate the device alone."

"And you do complain, sir," Sam said dryly. "With all due respect."

"All right, fine," Jack muttered resignedly, as Hammond agreed to the mission. "Looks like you're going solo, Daniel."

Stepping through the Stargate, Daniel looked around at the new world and smiled. The landscape around him was grassy and cool; gradual slopes, woodland, the city on the hill in the distance. He tugged the pack a little higher on his back and started walking.

By the time he'd reached the city, it was early evening, but still light. The people were more advanced than he'd thought: there were gas lights beginning to glow in the streets and music playing somewhere distant. It was then that he noticed the young man, dressed in black, walking hurriedly down an alley. He didn't really pay much attention until he heard the cry of pain from somewhere up ahead, in the darkness of the unlit street. Ignoring the voice of Jack O'Neill in his head – the one that said, quite clearly, 'Daniel, do you have any self-preservation instincts at all?' – he ducked into the alley to see him on the floor, getting the daylights beaten out of him by three other men.

"Leave him alone!"

The yell surprised even Daniel as he ran towards them, the sound echoing off the walls. It was only as he walked out into the brightly-lit street a few minutes later, supporting the limping young man, that he realised why the three attackers had run. He'd blocked most of the light from the street, and the echo had made it sound as if there were four or five people headed towards them instead of one. In the dark, they'd been surprised and scared, and legged it. Not that it was really important – Matt was grateful regardless. In the time it took to get back to his apartment, Daniel had learned that Matt lived alone, was a social misfit, and had reached the point where he believed that it was somehow his fault. He was also quite possibly one of the toughest people Daniel had ever met.

"You could stay here if you want," he offered as he unlocked the apartment and stumbled to the tiny kitchen. "I mean, I'm guessing you need somewhere for the night. It's not much, but it's home. You can have my bed, I'll sleep on the sofa."

As Daniel began to protest, Matt replied, "You're taller than me, and I only just fit. Trust me, if you try to sleep on there tonight, you won't be able to move tomorrow."

Later, as they ate, Daniel asked if Matt knew anything useful about Merlin's amulet.

"I probably can't tell you much you don't already know," Matt shrugged. "But I know it's meant to open people's minds to 'truth', presumably whether they like it or not. Maybe that means it's a store of knowledge – what's real, what's false, what might have been true once and got twisted along the way. I don't know." He smiled slightly, and added, "I can also tell you it wasn't actually Merlin's – it's just blamed on him. The myth goes that he borrowed it and gave it to someone on this world as a gift to a king who worshipped false gods. Needless to say, it didn't go well."

"What happened?" Daniel asked.

"The king died in despair, knowing that he'd wasted his life in service to a non-existent deity. The subjects still believed in this deity, held Merlin and the amulet-bearer responsible for the death of their king, and forced them to flee. They left the amulet behind so that anyone who wanted to understand the truth could do so."

"Does anyone actually know where it is?"

"If they do, then they're not telling," Matt laughed. "Can't say I blame them. If anyone found out, then this city would lose about half its income, and the Go'auld would probably come after them too. They don't overtly control us, but they use us for resources instead."

Daniel nodded thoughtfully, and the conversation shifted to other things. But in the back of his mind, he was aware that Matt was hiding something from him.

"Got any family in the city?" he asked.

Matt shook his head. "My parents died when I was ten. I got put with various host families that didn't really want me. I lived with a guy a couple of years older than me called Rath for two, maybe three years, but he disappeared a few months ago." He smiled sadly. "Sorry you asked?"

"Sorry you had to remember," Daniel said quietly. "I know, believe me."

Matt shrugged. "It's kind of nice to meet somebody who understands, even if it does mean someone else had to go through what I did. But I'm okay." He stood carefully, testing his weight on the injured leg, and winced. Daniel stood up to help him, but Matt shook his head. "It's alright. I can't rely on you forever, anyway. Might as well get used to it. Oh – a word of warning," he added as an afterthought. "I have regular nightmares, so I apologise in advance if I wake you up in the night."

Sure enough, a few hours later, Daniel woke suddenly to hear muffled sobs through the wall. He found Matt on the sofa, tangled in the blanket, crying in his sleep and mumbling incoherently. It sounded like he was begging someone – _Rath?_ – not to go.

Without thinking, Daniel gently wrapped an arm around Matt and just held him, saying that it was okay, that things would be fine, trying to calm him down. It seemed to work: the younger man's breathing slowed and deepened, and the tears stopped. He woke a few minutes later, looked up at Daniel and quickly looked away, embarrassed. "Thanks."

It was at that point that he noticed the tattoo on Matt's back: black, feathered wings, reaching from his shoulders down to his hips. When he asked, Matt said quietly that Rath had always called him 'Angel' and it had seemed a fitting memorial to a lost friend.

That seemed to settle things between them, and over the next few days they fell into a routine: Matt would get up early in the morning and go to the restaurant where he worked; Daniel would go to the library and look for anything that might help; in the evenings, when Matt came back, they would just talk, and at night they shared the main bed in an effort to stop Matt's nightmares. It mostly worked, in that Matt was actually sleeping properly and seemed happier. However, Daniel barely dared close his eyes, afraid of what he might say, or do, unconsciously.

After ten days with no real signs of progress, Stargate Command was becoming impatient, and Daniel was given a deadline: either you find the amulet, or some clue to its whereabouts, in the next two days, or you're coming home. But by this point, Daniel was certain that Matt knew more than he was saying. The day after that short conversation with the SGC, he stayed in the apartment, faking illness. After Matt had left, he started looking – for books, information, anything. Time seemed to disappear as he worked. Then the book was knocked from his hands and Matt was standing in front of him, clearly furious.

"What are you doing? These are my belongings. What gives you the right to go through them without asking me?"

The fight that followed was short and vicious. By the time Daniel had pinned Matt to the floor, surrounded by scattered books and papers, both were bruised and bleeding.

"I wish it wasn't like this," Daniel muttered to himself. As he saw the look in Matt's eyes, he realised he'd spoken out loud and hastily stood up, heading for the door, mumbling apologies. "I'm sorry – I shouldn't have said that – shouldn't have gone through your things – I'll just go–"

"Wait!" Matt grabbed his arm, turning Daniel to face him. "Daniel – don't go." He carefully took Daniel's hand, lacing their fingers together. "Please."

He never worked out who initiated the kiss. But it didn't matter – Matt was kissing him – and he was kissing back – and it just felt right. He shivered slightly as the younger man tangled one hand through his hair, deepening the kiss, tongues moving over each other. He ran his fingers down to Matt's hips, moving under the shirt, skin on skin.

"Matt," Daniel murmured as they broke apart to breathe, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Oh, you think?" Matt smiled.

"No, I know," Daniel admitted, kissing him again.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Matt asked quietly that evening. They were lying on the sofa, talking, having done little else for the last hour.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. My friends need me back, and I can't find what I was looking for, so…"

Matt stood up carefully and went back to his room, returning a few minutes later with a pale yellow stone, set in silver, on a thin silver chain.

He held it out to Daniel and simply asked, "Does that help?"

"Is that what I think it is?" Daniel was torn between amazement and wanting to laugh. "This is Merlin's amulet, isn't it?"

Matt smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. It is. Passed down, parent to child, all these years. We don't actually wear it, we just look after it until someone 'pure of heart and swift of mind' turns up."

"You knew, didn't you?" Daniel laughed. "You knew from the start."

"It wasn't that difficult to guess," Matt pointed out. "Going by your clothes, you were an off-worlder. But you weren't carrying much with you, and you didn't have a ship nearby, so probably not a trader. No weapons, so not a hunter. That makes you an explorer. Why do explorers come here? The legend of the amulet. I saw you when you came in."

"You even set up the way we met, didn't you?"

"Kind of. I wanted to see what you were like as a person – that's the 'pure of heart' bit. If you'd ignored me, I wouldn't have helped you at all. If you'd tried to do something after they'd gone, I probably would have pointed you at the library and left you to it. But you stopped them. So I feel safe in giving it to you. But I want you to help me in return."

"What?" Daniel asked, although part of him had already guessed what Matt wanted.

"Take me with you," the younger man responded. "Get me away from here."

Daniel stood up and faced him. "Are you sure? You'd be leaving behind everything you know."

"Trust me," Matt said. "There is nothing here for me any more. And I'd be with you."

Daniel smiled. "Like I'd be able to just leave you behind." He kissed Matt again, slow and lingering. "We'll go in the morning."

Daniel woke early to find Matt still curled around him, asleep. For once, the younger man looked peaceful, smiling slightly.

_He genuinely trusts me_, Daniel thought, stroking his hair. _I must be the first person he's let in since Rath._

Matt mumbled something and shifted closer, nuzzling Daniel's neck. He forced himself to think about reports, and regulations, and forms, because if he didn't… things would just be awkward. He felt Matt's fingertips trail down his side, resting on his hip, holding him gently.

"You're awake, aren't you?" he muttered.

Matt laughed, breath tickling Daniel's neck. "Yep. You got me. Problem?" He looked up, meeting Daniel's eyes, all innocence. (Actually, that wasn't the right way to describe it, as it implies Matt knew exactly what he was doing to Daniel and wanted to continue. He did know, but didn't want to keep going, and it wasn't intentional. He just wanted to be close.)

"That's one word for it." Daniel swung out of the bed and grabbed his clothes off the floor. "I'm going to go and get washed. You packed?"

"More or less. There's not much I want to take anyway…"

They stepped out of the apartment half an hour later, shouldering packs.

"Can't say I'm going to miss this," Matt commented, smiling. "Let's get out of here."

"Onwards and upwards," Daniel replied as they walked away. As they moved through the city, Matt was quiet, anxious to be gone. When they reached the woodland, though, he paused and looked up at the trees, squinting a little in the sun.

"I used to come here with Rath," he said quietly. "I think I'll miss this." He glanced briefly at Daniel, then went on: "We used to stay out here, some nights, in the summer. It was our secret, I guess – no-one else ever came out here, they couldn't see the point. It was just nice to get away from everyone else sometimes and be somewhere… safe."

"Who was Rath to you?" Daniel asked, as they walked down the hill.

Matt shrugged. "First real friend. First person to care about me since my parents. First person I fell in love with who didn't call me a sick freak. First person to try and understand."

Daniel said nothing. But his imagination was working overtime, drawing a picture of violence and fear in Matt's past. He pushed the thoughts away and kept walking.

"You came here through that?" Matt asked as the Stargate came into view. "I always thought it was… dead. I could see how it might have worked, but I've never seen it used. At school, they just said it was an ancient monument from an old religion." He laughed. "One more mistake to cross off the list. No wonder you didn't have a ship. How does it work?"

"It generates a wormhole between this Stargate and another one on the other side of the galaxy," Daniel explained as he dialled home and sent the code to open the iris. "So travel's pretty much instant – we miss out most of the actual distance."

"Did you actually understand that?"

"Nope, not really," Daniel admitted. "You?"

"Me neither. I guess you don't have to understand it completely in order to make it take us where we want to go, right?" Matt asked, walking up the steps to the gate. "Where's all the energy coming from?"

"Ask Sam when we get there," Daniel replied, standing beside him and linking their fingers. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Matt smiled. He took one last look at the landscape and stepped through.

On the other side, the soldiers on duty leapt into action, taking up defensive positions as Matt remolecularised and yelling for him to stand still.

"Don't shoot!" Daniel snapped, stepping in front of a fairly confused Matt. "Don't shoot, he's not armed and he's only here to help us."

Hammond's voice came over the speakers. "Jackson? Care to explain?"

Daniel sighed. "It's a long story."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey, look what I found on the WRONG F**KING HARD DRIVE. Sorry. Someone messed with my files and I'm _pissed_. Anyway. Enjoy :)**

Part two – Initiation.

"You want him to stay on at the SGC?"

"Yes. I know he can't offer us any advances in technology, but he has an understanding of languages and cultures that we've not even come across in some cases. He could be a huge help in terms of translations and knowledge – there's almost no overlap in what we know, there's so much he could teach us. We're understaffed as it is, sir, we need all the help we can get."

"Hm." The General sounded sceptical. "And what has he asked for in return?"

"Asylum – he's an ideological refugee." Daniel sighed tiredly and ran one hand through his hair, leaving it even more mussed. "His world is controlled by the Go'auld, and he wants to defeat them. He wants to stay here and help us."

Hammond half-shrugged. "I won't argue with that. However," he added, "He'll have to meet military and SGC standards if he wishes to remain part of this facility. To that end, I'll arrange for him to be put through the same one-day initial training programme all new recruits go through. If he fails, he may be kept on as a civilian consultant, but he will not be allowed through the Stargate and he will not be allowed to use any alien technology we find. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir." Daniel stood carefully, trying not to smile.

"Go and tell him the good news, then. Jack and Teal'c will pick him up at 0800 tomorrow."

They'd set up one of the 'guest rooms' for Matt, as if not quite sure what to do with him. To say it was spartan was something of an understatement: there was a bed, a desk, a chair and a laptop computer, and absolutely nothing else. When Daniel arrived, Matt was sat cross-legged on the bed, working on the laptop.

"I'm still struggling a little with the written language, but it's getting easier," he admitted, setting it aside and standing up.

"Find anything interesting?"

"I was researching the planet as it is now. Six billion people? That's insane."

"How many on your world, then?" Daniel asked. Matt shrugged.

"I don't know for sure. Maybe half a billion? I think the population used to be much higher, but there were so many wars, and disease… I guess we just killed each other off. Changing the subject," he smiled, "What did Hammond have to say?"

Daniel returned the smile as they walked to the canteen. "You've been accepted into the SGC, but they're putting you through the initiation all the new recruits go through to see if you're good enough to go off-world."

Matt laughed. "Excuse me while I drown in the irony. Any ideas what this initiation involves?"

"Nope, I never had to take it," Daniel grabbed two mugs of coffee, offering one to Matt. "Here."

"This is what you were missing, right?" Matt asked, cautiously taking a sip of the hot liquid. "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Sam asked, walking over to them with her own mug of coffee.

"Sam, this is Matt; Matt, this is Sam Carter," Daniel said quickly. "She's another member of SG-1, and she's the one to ask about wormholes, not me."

"Hi," Matt said, shaking the offered hand. "Nice to meet you."

"And you," Sam replied as they sat down at a free table. "So, you're taking the test tomorrow?"

Matt nodded.

"You nervous?"

"Terrified," he smiled. "Mostly because I have no idea what I might have let myself in for."

"Good answer," Sam laughed. "You'll be fine."

"Having a little tea-party here, are we? Well, coffee-party."

Daniel didn't even bother to turn round. "Hi, Jack."

"Please tell me you've never said that in an airport," Jack muttered sarcastically.

"Wait a minute… if this is the coffee-party, then presumably I'm the Mad Hatter, and Daniel's clearly the March Hare, and Matt is our reluctant Alice, then what does that make you?" Sam asked wryly. "Tweedledum?"

"Tweedledumber," Daniel muttered into his coffee, catching Matt's eye. Both tried not to giggle, with little success.

Jack sighed. "I can't win." He joined them at the table. "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill. You must be our new recruit."

"That's me. It's nice to meet you," Matt replied.

"Daniel, have you got him addicted already?" Jack asked, noticing what Matt was drinking. "Come on, I can barely cope with one of you running around on a caffeine high. How can you expect me to cope with two?"

As they left, Daniel asked quietly, "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

Matt nodded. "I think it's the only way I'll get any sleep." He half-smiled. "Damn you, Daniel. I need you."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I don't like being dependent on another person," Matt retorted. Then he sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean that the way it came out. It scares me that I'm reliant on you. If you're not there… then what?" He shook his head. "Ignore me. I'm being selfish here. Sorry."

"No, you're not," Daniel replied. "And I'm not leaving you. There's nothing selfish about wanting me to stay or just needing someone. It's fine."

"Thanks," Matt said quietly. "Do you want to go up to your office so it looks like we're working on some translation overnight?"

Daniel stopped, head tilted on one side. "How do you know that regulations state we can't openly be together?"

"I didn't. But after hearing a group on another table talking about 'filthy faggots' and 'sick fairies' that 'don't belong', I guessed it was probably not a good idea to skip around the SGC holding hands with you." Matt half-smiled as they walked to Daniel's office. "Typical. You come halfway across the galaxy trying to escape prejudice, only to find it's got there ahead of you."

Jack knocked on the door, twice. A few seconds later, Matt looked out. He didn't seem tired, or drowsy, like he'd just woken up; he'd clearly been awake for some time. "What is it? It's only 0730."

"I know. I was asked to find you early to make sure you ate breakfast and had the right gear," the colonel explained. "We'll go to the lockers first, find you a uniform, then grab something to eat and go. Have you seen Daniel, by the way?"

"We were working on a translation overnight, trying to work out how much overlap there is in our knowledge," Matt replied, the lie slipping easily off his tongue as they walked to the locker room. "Turns out, not that much." He changed quickly into the black trousers, t-shirt and jacket and laced up the boots, smiling slightly. Jack raised an eyebrow as he handed over the rucksack.

"What? Black is my colour."

They – Jack and Teal'c – dropped him off in a helicopter.

"Okay," Jack shouted over the noise of the blades. "We'll be waiting for you–" he pointed at the red dot on the GPS display "–here. You've got five hours to get there, and if you miss us, you've failed. Got it?"

Matt nodded and gave him a thumbs-up. Shouting wasn't worth the effort.

"Alright. See you there!" the colonel yelled, getting back into the helicopter and taking off.

"Should we not have warned him about the group doing target practice, Colonel O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, as the helicopter gained altitude.

"That's part of the test," Jack replied. "See if he's smart enough to avoid them. They're only using paintball guns, anyway."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything further.

In the clearing where he'd been dropped, Matt examined the GPS, trying to learn what he could about his surroundings. It was a fairly old model that gave little information about the terrain or any possible problems ahead. He was about to give up and just start jogging in the right direction when he heard something in the distance. He darted to the tree line and stayed absolutely still, trying to work out where the noise had come from. The question was answered a few minutes later when a young man in camouflage gear crashed through the trees into the clearing. He was carrying what looked like a gun, but as he turned and fired twice, apparently at random, Matt realised it was only a practice weapon. All it fired was paint – _so you can see where you've hit_ – so this guy was doing some target practice.

_And where there's one, there's likely to be others. This could be part of the test_, Matt thought. _They want to know how I react to an unexpected threat. Even if it's not, this guy won't be alone, and chances are they'll shoot at whatever moves. Either way, I'm not going on unarmed._

As the paint gun-wielding junior turned away from him again, Matt sprinted towards him and knocked him to the floor, muttering a quiet, "Sorry," as he yanked the gun from his grasp and ran back into the trees. He didn't stop, or slow down, until the victim's yells of frustration were inaudible from the distance. He glanced at the GPS, confirming he was going the right way, slung the paint gun over his shoulder and kept running.

"What's he doing?" Jack wondered, following the blinking red dot on the map. He and the other three members of SG-1 were in Sam's lab, watching Matt's progress. "I don't get it. Why would he wait in the trees, then run into the clearing, and then run away that far without stopping?"

"Perhaps he is being pursued by members of the target practice group," Teal'c suggested.

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Matt's too smart for that. He doesn't even want them to know he's there," Daniel mused, turning to Sam. "Can you show the group doing target practice on this map in another colour?"

Sam nodded. "Sure. Their weapons have trackers, so I'll use that." She went back to the computer and tapped a few keys. "Okay, that should show up the target practice group in green."

"Woah, that guy's right on top of him! What's going on?" Jack asked in surprise, as a green dot flashed on top of the red one indicating Matt. Sam looked up at the map, saw the cluster of green in the clearing, and the solitary green and red, and burst out laughing. "Oh, wow."

"What? What is it?" Daniel asked, puzzled.

"He's stolen one of the paintball guns. It's the only explanation." Sam leaned back in her chair and smiled. "You've got to hand it to him, he's pretty good."

"That's why he waited in the trees," Jack realised. "He saw someone coming, and waited for the right moment, and then ran." He grinned. "You were right, Daniel, he's smart."

Matt smiled to himself, seeing the light through the trees. The end of the wood was in sight, and that meant he was nearly at the pickup point. He looked down at the GPS for confirmation, and then at the time it gave. _Two hours to spare. That's not bad._ When he stepped over a fallen tree and out into the open space, though, he realised why they'd given him the extra two hours.

The hill more or less fell away a short distance from the edge of the trees. If he'd kept running, he would've gone over. Gingerly, he walked to the edge and looked down.

_Oh, shit, that's pretty steep. Not running down there in a hurry._ He looked left and right quickly for any other way down, but the steep drop continued, on both sides, for what looked like several miles each way. There wasn't time to try running along the edge looking for a shallower incline. He swore in frustration and threw a stone down the edge. _There's probably some point about looking at your route before you run off in this…_ He paused, watching the stone. The drop wasn't as steep as it appeared: the stone wasn't actually going fast enough to be dangerous. _Some kind of scramble or slide?_ He looked back to the trees, noticing the one that had fallen on its side. The bark had partly peeled away after months of damp weather. _Perfect._

"Okay, now I'm really confused," Jack said.

"Call the networks," Daniel muttered under his breath.

The red and green dots had been moving around in a very small area for several minutes. Now they were moving at high speed in an almost perfect straight line towards the pickup point.

Sam frowned. "Hold on. I'm going to put the contour lines back on for a minute." She typed a short instruction on the computer and the orange lines scrolled down over the screen.

"Closer together means steeper, right?" the archaeologist asked.

"That is correct, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c replied. Daniel smiled.

"He's sliding down the hill."

"On what?" Jack asked. "We swept the area yesterday. Twice! There's nothing left there for him to use."

Daniel shrugged. "Maybe you missed something because you'd never think of using it. A fallen tree, a piece of bark, I don't know. But he's improvised something."

"Better get the helicopter," Sam laughed. "Or you'll miss him."

"Jack, be careful," Daniel said quickly. "Matt could seriously hurt you if he wanted to."

The colonel just looked at him like he was mad. "Yeah, right."

As Jack and Teal'c left hurriedly, Daniel sighed, asking, "Why does no-one ever listen…? How long did that run actually take him?"

"Including the time spent on top of the hill? About three and a half hours."

"And how far was it?"

"Not sure…" Sam checked the computer log of the GPS transmissions. "About fourteen and a half miles. He's seriously fast. We've got Marines here that couldn't match that."

"That's the first test done, then," Daniel said thoughtfully.

"First and second. Getting down the hill is the second test," Sam corrected.

"What are the others?"

"Third is usually some kind of unarmed combat, and there's usually some form of target practice. There might be an intelligence test, but it's unlikely. And obviously there's a medical exam at the end," Sam explained, counting the tests off on her fingers as she spoke.

"Uh-oh," Daniel said quietly.

"What?"

"Matt's probably been in more fights than Jack has ever even seen, never mind participated in," Daniel said wryly. Seeing Sam's puzzled look, he explained: "Matt's been bullied and harassed most of his life. He had to learn how to defend himself, he didn't have a choice. And Jack hasn't got a clue, so he'll probably go easy and get his head kicked in for his trouble."

"Hold on," Sam interjected. "You said in your mission debrief that you'd had a fight with Matt shortly before you came back, and you pinned him to the floor to make him stop."

"Because he let me," Daniel said simply. "If he'd wanted to, he could probably have really hurt me. But our friendship was more important than his anger at me, so he threw the fight." He smiled wryly. "And Jack has no idea. Do you think if I'd showed him the bruises he would have listened?"

"Listened? Yes. Believed you? Unlikely," Sam laughed. "Maybe he'll learn something from it. You never know. Stranger things have happened."

"What – 'don't mess with Matt, or you will die a slow and painful death'?" Daniel asked sarcastically. Sam laughed.

"Hope springs eternal."

Matt was lying on the ground in a dizzy heap, having jumped off his improvised sledge a little early and rolled the last few feet. "Ugh. Not doing that again in a hurry," he muttered to himself, carefully sitting up and checking the pack. The water was still there, and thankfully still in its container, so he took a few sips and ate one of the snack bars. Hearing the noise of the helicopter overhead, he stood up and waited for it to land before jogging over and scrambling inside.

"Okay, we're going to do some unarmed combat practice," Jack explained, once the helicopter had landed and they were walking back to the SGC indoor gymnasium. "So, before we start, the rules are: no permanent damage, no running away, and no use of weapons." He handed Matt shin guards, a box, and a head guard. "If you want to quit, you concede the fight and say, 'You've won, let me up'." He grinned at Matt. "Ready?"

Matt nodded, and punched him hard in the face. This was swiftly followed up with a knee in the stomach, a sweeping kick that took the colonel's legs out from under him, and while he was sprawled on the padded floor, Matt grabbed his right arm and wrenched it up into a painful shoulder lock.

"Alright down there, sir?" he asked dryly. Jack tried to reply, but all that came out was a series of muffled curses.

"I'm sorry, didn't quite catch that. Am I allowed to just let you up? I'm bored."

Jack sighed, and tried again. "What I said was – I think we should go again, and this time I won't go so easy."

Matt shrugged, although he knew the colonel couldn't see it. "Alright." He let go of the older man's arm and stood up, offering him a hand.

"Right," Jack said, getting his breath back, "Let's try that again. Ready?"

"Ready to kick your ass again, _kezarei_," Matt replied sarcastically. He nodded, and Jack swung at him – a right haymaker, still going pretty easy. He sighed, blocked it, kicked the colonel hard in the ribs and took him down again, this time flipping him onto his back with his arms pinned.

"Happy now? Or do you want to try third time lucky?"

He let Jack up again. The man was clearly feeling the effect of two hard takedowns, but he was stubborn enough to try again. _Ten out of ten for sheer force of will, Jack; minus several thousand for not recognising a fight you've already lost._ They nodded at each other, and Jack tried a tackle. He thought it had worked – Matt went down – but the younger man twisted and somehow managed to flip them over, and once again he was pinned to the floor.

"Alright, I concede," he muttered. "You win. Let me up." He stood slowly, trying to ignore the parts of his body that were complaining.

"You okay?" Matt asked. He'd barely broken a sweat.

"I'm fine," Jack replied tiredly. "Teal'c, can you take him down to target practice?"

"Of course, O'Neill." He led Matt to the range cadets practised on and left him with the Sergeant in charge of the range, going back up to find Jack leaning on the wall looking utterly exhausted.

"I suggest that you go to the Infirmary, O'Neill," Teal'c said calmly.

"Yeah – I'm going to. Damn kid. He's a hell of a lot stronger than he looks," Jack commented as they walked down the corridor.

"I would venture that he has had extensive training in martial arts," Teal'c observed.

"No kidding," the colonel muttered sarcastically, mentally cataloguing the parts of him that didn't hurt – it was probably faster than trying to count the parts that did. "I need some painkillers. Or a lot of alcohol…"

"Ever fired a gun before?"

Matt shook his head. "Never."

"Well, it's dead simple, if you'll forgive the expression," the sergeant replied tiredly. "Just point the muzzle at the target, check your sight line, and pull the trigger. I want you to fire off three shots at the blue man target, okay?"

"Closer to the ten means a better shot, right?"

"That's right. Ear defenders on, range is hot, fire at will."

_Who exactly is Will?_ Matt thought, shifting his weight to the back foot. _And why am I firing at him?_

He took one breath in, relaxed, and pulled the trigger three times in quick succession.

"Bloody hell," the sergeant muttered, removing the defenders and taking back the gun. "If you've never fired a gun before, I dread to think what'll happen with experience."

There were three neat holes in the target. None of them were actually anywhere near the 'ten' circle in the middle; all three were in a straight line down the length of the target's face, the middle right between its eyes.

"Beginner's luck?" Matt asked.

"Beginner's luck, my arse," the sergeant muttered resentfully. "Dismissed."

Matt smiled wryly, walking out and trying to guess his way to the Infirmary. "Must be my lucky day."

"So, how was it?" Daniel asked, appearing out of nowhere – well, another corridor.

"The weapons test? Not bad," Matt laughed. "Although I think the sergeant got a bit of a shock."

Daniel sighed. "Let me guess: you completely ignored what he said to you, did extremely well, and gave him the scare of his life?"

"Pretty much. I think he thinks I'm after his job. As if! Like I want to spend all day with meatheads firing guns," Matt commented. Daniel stopped then, in the middle of the corridor.

"Do you have any idea where you're going?"

"All the corridors look the same. I was kind of hoping you were going to lead me to wherever I'm supposed to go."

"That's a no, then," Daniel muttered, smiling. "Infirmary's back that way."

Matt shrugged, falling back into step beside him. "What? It's not like someone thought to give me a map, is it?"

"Oh, I forgot you were coming in for a medical," Jack said, sitting up as they walked in. "How was it?"

"Pretty good. I think I did okay, at least, even if it wasn't quite what the sergeant was expecting," came the reply. One of the nurses walked over at that point and pulled the curtain across, attempting to end the conversation. She didn't have much luck.

"So, you ready for a rematch yet?" Jack asked jokingly.

"Bring it on, _kezarei_," Matt called back. Daniel stifled a smirk, and attempted a glare, with little success.

"Matt, you cannot call him that! I don't care what he's done to you…" The archaeologist tailed off in a fit of laughter.

"Oh god… Now I'm worried. He said that earlier as well. What does _kezarei_ mean, exactly? You're the linguist, Daniel," the colonel said nervously.

Daniel sighed briefly. "It's… hard to explain without… invoking some terms that – that should really not be used" – he glared at Matt, who just smiled innocently – "in reference to senior officers…"

"Daniel…" The warning note was obvious in O'Neill's voice.

"Jack… Alright. Are you going to know what I mean if I say, 'banjo territory'?"

There was silence from behind the curtain for a moment.

"Bastard."

"Worse than that."

"Thanks, Daniel, that makes me feel so much better."

"Sorry."

"Okay, I've got back the test results," the nurse said, walking over. Matt and Daniel were perched on the edge of the bed, talking. "Everything's within the normal boundaries, apart from your BMI." Seeing the mystified expressions in front of her, she explained: "It's a measure of your body mass in relation to your height – it's your weight in kilos divided by your height squared in metres."

"You couldn't have just said I was tall and skinny?" Matt asked wryly.

"It's more than just that, it's looking worrying in terms of your health. You're close to being chronically underweight, to the point that we're starting to wonder if you're actually malnourished. To try and remedy this, we're putting you on a controlled diet to make sure you're eating what you need. I expect you to follow this" – she brandished the diet plan – "to the letter, do you understand? And I expect you" – looking at Daniel now – "to keep an eye on him."

"Does she even know who you are?" Matt asked as they left. "I mean, you're the guy who survives on chocolate bars and coffee and about three hours' sleep. You're not the best person to watch someone on a strict controlled diet, are you?"

"I care about you," Daniel replied. "I want you to be okay. That makes me the best person in the facility, right?"

Matt looked at him, faintly surprised. "Good point."

"Why are you surprised by that?"

Matt shrugged awkwardly and looked at the floor, but kept walking.

_He's surprised to find that someone actually cares about him. Oh god, Matt, what they put you through._ Daniel sighed briefly and pushed the thoughts to one side.

"Come on. We've probably got time to grab something from the mess hall before General Hammond wants to see us."

Matt laughed. "You're taking this seriously?"

"Hey, I'm actually hungry. I haven't eaten since…" Daniel sighed. "Okay, maybe you were right in saying I'm not the best. But I'll try."

"Meh. Good enough for me," the younger man smiled.

"Ah! Matt – good. I need to speak to you in private before I brief SG-1," Hammond said, gesturing for Matt to sit down.

"Sir?"

"After what Doctor Jackson said about understaffing… well. You're the person with the greatest knowledge of alien cultures in this facility, and therefore someone who would be well-placed on the flagship team. To that end, I'm assigning you to SG-1. You'll be working with Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter and Teal'c. I believe you've already met," he commented, gesturing to the four people sat around the briefing room table. Jack waved, and then winced as his shoulder reminded him of what had happened earlier.

"Of course, you will be based on Earth whenever SG-1 is on stand-down. I realise that it takes time to adjust, and to find somewhere more permanent to stay. But for the moment, you're free to stay here if you need to." The general paused. "Have I missed anything out?"

"Don't think so, sir."

"Oh – one more thing. A word about regulations," Hammond added. "You're free to do what you like as far as your personal life goes, and I don't have any problems with it. But whatever happens, it gets left outside the mountain. Are we clear on that?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Matt nodded.

"Good. Dismissed."

He walked out of Hammond's office, biting his tongue in an effort not to just lose control. Daniel stood up and walked over, hugging him briefly.

"Welcome aboard," he laughed.

"You knew, didn't you?" Matt asked.

"We guessed. After Daniel's comments about understaffing when he came back from the mission – and General Hammond picking us to test you – we kind of assumed you'd be joining SG-1," Sam explained. She hugged him as well.

"Am I allowed to stay with you until I can get my own place?" Matt asked Daniel, as the others drifted out. Daniel shrugged.

"If you're staying with me, why do you need your own place?"


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three: New Guy.

The five members of SG-1 were huddled around a campfire, shivering. The mission to PX3-495A had gone to plan – they'd known the distance to the village they were meant to reach was too much to cover in one day, and as a result were stuck camping in a forest for the night. That didn't make it any warmer.

"I'll take first watch," Jack said. "You guys try and get some sleep. I'll wake the next person in three hours."

The others nodded and crawled into sleeping-bags. Sam and Daniel fell asleep almost straight away – whether it was exhaustion or practice – and Teal'c stayed awake as the next person on watch. Matt lay there in the dark, listening to the sounds of the night. There were insects chittering nearby, and the faint rustle of larger animals in the distance. He relaxed a little. Daniel was nearby. There was someone on watch. It was probably no worse than sleeping out in the woods with Rath.

A sharp _snap_ and a whistle somewhere close pulled him into alertness. He half sat up, listening intently.

A moment passed in silence.

Then the whistle of another dart through the air and the soft _thunk_ of it hitting a target woke everyone up. He glanced down to see the feathered tuft stuck in his sleeping-bag and looked across to where Sam and Daniel were, only to see two more darts fly through the air and hit them both. They slumped, unconscious. Jack had already been hit – that must have been the first whistle, he must have been the first to go down – and Teal'c was awake and waiting for their attackers.

Without thinking, Matt hissed at him, "Play dead!"

Teal'c froze, but appeared to agree with the idea. He collapsed to the ground, pretending to be unconscious. As he waited, barely daring to breathe, Matt wondered if this had been such a good idea. Teal'c was probably more than able to defend the others from this threat.

The group began to move towards them, and it quickly became clear that they were hugely outnumbered. Playing dead was the only real option as they were carried away.

"Daniel. Wake up!"

The archaeologist was sprawled on the floor of the tiny cell, snoring softly.

"Come on, Daniel. Snap out of it!"

No response.

"Alright, fine. You're not going to like this at all, you know." As Daniel slept on, Matt leant over him and pinched his nostrils shut. Within seconds, there was a response.

"What are you doing… get off me!"

Matt laughed. "Never fails." He leaned back and helped Daniel sit up.

"What was that for?"

"Because I need you awake," Matt replied. "We are apparently stuck in here, and I don't know where the others are. We need to get out, we need to find them and we need to work out what's going on."

"What happened?" Daniel asked. "Last thing I remember is falling asleep in the woods."  
"We were ambushed. A group of people surrounded us and shot us with what I think were tranquiliser darts, then brought us here. I wasn't hit, and neither was Teal'c, but I thought it was safer to go along than try and fight our way out."

Daniel nodded. "So we're in some kind of prison?"

"Looks like it. There are cells on either side of us, but everything seems really quiet. There's one guard at the end of the corridor with keys. I think he's going to be our way out of here. I mean, I'm guessing you can't pick locks."

"Nope."

"Me neither. Do you want to pretend to be sick, or shall I?"

"You can. You're a better actor than me. I'll get the guard over," Daniel replied. "Do you just want to knock him out and take the keys?"

"Yeah. Prison guards tend not to be the sharpest tools in the box, so he probably won't know much." Matt groaned and doubled over. "Oh god – it hurts – I think I'm gonna throw up–"

Daniel turned towards the guard and started yelling. "Hey! My friend – he's sick – you've got to help us!"

The guard looked over and obligingly wandered over to the door of their cell. As the lock clicked, Matt wrenched the door sideways, dragging the unsuspecting guard after it. He stumbled, still holding the door, and it was easy to trip him and hold him down on the floor of the cell.

"Thank you very much," Matt told him, yanking the keys off his belt and pocketing them.

As they locked the guard in the cell, Daniel asked, "Don't you feel a little bit sorry for him? He's only doing his job."

"And here we have the Fe'kireas Defence," Matt replied. "'I was only obeying orders.'" He turned and walked down the corridor, checking each cell as he passed. Daniel sighed.

"Hey, look who I've found."

Daniel quickly caught up with him and smiled slightly, looking through the bars.

"Hey, Sam."

She looked up at them and groaned quietly. "My head… what happened?"

"We were ambushed. You and me got hit with tranquiliser darts. We were brought here, but we're not sure why. That's what we need to find out," Daniel explained.

"How did you guys get out?" she asked as Matt unlocked the door and helped her to stand up.

"We tricked the guard into coming into our cell, then took the keys off him and locked him up," Matt said. "But we don't know where the others are."

"I think there's another wing down there," Sam pointed out. "Let's check that."

Daniel was about to step round the corner when the other two yanked him back.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"There are two guards on the other side, both armed with staff weapons," Matt said dryly. "I assumed you didn't want to walk into them." He pressed the keys into Daniel's hand. "Go find a nice empty cell we can stick these idiots in for a while." Turning to Sam, he added, "Left or right?"

"Left."

"Alright then," he replied. "Let's go take down the meatheads."

The two of them moved quickly, with practised ease. The guards never even knew what hit them. All they knew was that it really, really hurt. As they dragged the unconscious men to the empty cell, Sam asked, "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I'm running on adrenaline," Matt said calmly. "As soon as we're out of danger, I'll feel guilty. But right now, I don't care."

Daniel and Sam exchanged a look that clearly said, we'll deal with this later. The three of them walked down the length of the corridor, glancing into each cell. Most of them were occupied, although all the inmates seemed to be asleep.

"They've all been sedated," Daniel commented.

"To stop them trying to escape? They all look pretty strong," Matt suggested. "That might be why everything was so quiet – most people were unconscious."

Sam had gone on ahead as they talked. Now she called them over.

"Look who it is."

Colonel O'Neill was lying on the floor, curled up, asleep. Daniel smiled slightly.

"You do realise that we're rescuing him, right?"

Matt smirked. "You're never going to let him forget it, are you?"

"Nope, not for a long time," Daniel laughed. "Sam, do you want to try and wake him up while we look for Teal'c?"

"Daniel Jackson?" said a voice further down the corridor. Matt ran down to find Teal'c standing in his cell, leaning on the door.

"Teal'c, are you okay?"

"I am fine. They presumed I was unconscious, and did not attempt to sedate me. I do not know what has happened to Colonel O'Neill."

"He's back that way" – Matt pointed back the way he came – "but he's asleep. Daniel and I managed to get hold of a set of keys…" He quickly unlocked the door and let Teal'c out.

"Let's go."

"Ugh… I feel hung over. What happened?" Jack asked, cradling his head in his hands.

"We were ambushed. You, me and Daniel were shot with tranquilisers. We were brought here and locked up, but we don't know why yet." Sam smiled. "The headache and the dizziness fade after a while. You'll be fine. Can you stand up?"

"Not sure…" The colonel slowly pulled himself up, leaning heavily on Sam. "Kinda."

"It wears off pretty quickly once you're awake and moving around," she said, helping him outside. "Lean on the wall until your head's cleared."

Jack did so, wincing. "Hey, if you, me and Daniel were shot with darts, and Teal'c was in a separate cell, how did you get out?"

"Matt was awake, and he woke up Daniel. They tricked the guard into letting them out, then they let me out, and we came down here and found you guys," Sam explained.

"So what you're saying is, the new guy saved our asses?"

Sam tried not to smile. "Pretty much."

"Should we unlock the other cells?" Daniel wondered, walking back down the corridor. "They were probably all captured the same way we were."

Matt nodded. "If we let them out, they're probably not going to attack us. I think they'll just want to go home once they come round." He glanced at Sam. "What do you think?"

"Most of them probably have no idea how they got here," she agreed. "And I doubt they'll attack the people who free them."

"Particularly if they're still out of it," Matt added, sliding the keys off the guard's chain.

As they walked back to the Stargate – after reaching the city and confirming that there wasn't much the people knew that they didn't – Jack turned to Sam and asked quietly, "Matt basically got us out of that, didn't he?"

"Yeah. We're gonna have fun explaining that one to General Hammond," she replied.

"We let ourselves be captured, though," the colonel said quickly. "You know, to see how Matt coped on his own. Part of his training…"

Sam nodded. "Of course, sir."

"Naturally."

"Obviously."

"I mean, normally that would never have happened."

"Of course not."

"And if it did, we'd be able to get out of it without the help of the rookie…"


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four: Demons.

"Stargate trips are never fun, they're just varying degrees of scrambling," Daniel muttered to no-one in particular, supporting Matt down the ramp. The leg wound from a glancing staff blast a few days ago hadn't fully healed, leaving him pretty unsteady. And gate trips were dizzying at the best of times. He felt Matt pull away slightly in embarrassment, and he walked down the ramp unaided. Daniel sighed internally and followed. It bothered him slightly that Matt was still isolating himself from the others, as if he didn't quite trust them.

"Are you okay?" he asked, catching up with Matt on the way to the debrief.

Matt didn't meet his eye. "I'm fine."

After Janet had finished the usual once-over – "Apparently, I'm still too skinny," was Matt's only reaction – they headed for Sam's lab, looking for some of the artefacts that might now be translatable. She glanced up at them and smiled briefly as they walked in.

"Looking for something, or is this just a social visit?"

"Have you seen those tablets we sent back?" Daniel asked.

"Those ones you couldn't really decipher? They might still be here… I'll have a look. They might already be in the archives," Sam added, her voice tailing off as she rummaged through the various plastic crates on the floor. "Nope. Nada. Sorry. They must have already gone."

Daniel shrugged. "Oh well. They'll keep. Thanks anyway."

"Do you guys even know what half this stuff is?" Matt asked. He was wandering around the lab, looking at some of the alien technology Sam was working on. Sam just laughed.

"Are you kidding me? Half the time we don't have a clue. I mean, that" – she pointed at the metal cube with a black gemstone on top that Matt was currently examining – "could be a communicator, some kind of signalling device. It might be a way of talking to the Go'auld."

"What – speak into the stone, and heed its wisdom?" he replied wryly, running his fingertips over the side and up to the gemstone on top.

"Not exactly…"

There was a fierce flash of white light. When Matt opened his eyes again, blinking, he realised he'd been thrown across the room. He cautiously sat up from his slump, rubbing the side of his arm that had hit the wall, as Sam and Daniel stared down at him.

"Ow."

"Matthew?" Daniel said nervously.

"What?" he asked, gingerly testing his weight on his feet. _Not too wobbly – that's a good sign, nothing serious._

"Oh my God," Sam murmured. "Matt, you might want to look in a mirror."

Matt stood up, slightly shaken, both from the impact and the way Sam and Daniel were acting. Suddenly his clothes seemed way too big. He caught sight of his reflection in a monitor and looked properly.

"Oh, no."

Instead of the usual lanky twenty-six year old looking back, he was staring into the frightened eyes of a sixteen year old boy.

He let them lead him down to the Infirmary, oblivious to the confused stares of the soldiers on base. He was barely aware of Janet moving around him, conducting every test she could think of to try and work out what had happened. He noticed the results she gave, though. He was massively underweight, and there was evidence of recent, severe physical trauma. As soon as he was released, he headed for Daniel's office – his usual bolthole – and shut the door behind him. Daniel didn't ask what Janet had said, or if she knew what had happened. He just pulled Matt into his arms and held him, without hesitating. The familiarity was calming.

When Matt's heart rate had slowed to normal, he asked quietly, "What did Janet say?"

"I'm dangerously underweight, and there's evidence to suggest I was recently physically attacked." Matt shrugged. "I saw the look on Janet's face when she examined me. Whatever it was, it was bad." He paused and looked up at Daniel. "This must be really weird for you."

Daniel smiled faintly. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Are you alright? That's what's important."

"It's not right," Matt said quietly. "I'm still me, I still have all my memories, I still feel the same" – he ducked his head and looked away – "I'm still in love with you. I'm just stuck in the wrong age. Why this? Why sixteen? Why the worst time of my life?"

He was shaking. Daniel didn't answer. He just held on.

Three weeks passed, with no solution presenting itself. Matt had been stuck in the mountain for all of them, getting tested and examined and quietly going insane. He'd read two or three books per day, learned four new songs on guitar, drank enough coffee to sink a battleship, eaten little, slept less, and only sustained conversations with Daniel. He'd also developed a theory as to what the device was actually for.

"I think it's a way of making you face your fears," he explained. Daniel frowned, puzzled.

"How?"

"I have a gap in my memory," Matt said quietly. "I'm missing about a year, from when I was fifteen to just after my sixteenth birthday. It's completely blank, I can't remember anything. Whatever happened, it must have scared me enough that I've just blocked it out, and I am terrified of what it might be. And every time I fall asleep, I dream that I'm in a dark room with light in the doorway."

"And whatever is in that light is what you're afraid to remember?" Daniel asked, sipping coffee. Matt nodded.

"So," he continued, "You must be meant to walk into the light, and face what you're afraid of, to get back to normal. Right?" He paused. "So why…"

"Because I'm not strong enough," Matt said, looking at the floor. "I can't. I'm too scared."

Daniel stood up, setting his mug down on the desk. "Matt, come here."

The boy obediently got up and stood in front of Daniel. He looked ashamed, and didn't meet the older man's gaze.

"Matt," Daniel said calmly, resting his hands on his shoulders, "You are strong enough. I know you. You've been through hell and come out the other side. You can do this. I'll be right there beside you." Something clicked in his mind. "Maybe that's a part of it. You're not meant to try and deal with this alone."

"If we fell asleep at the same time, in the same place…" Matt tailed off.

"It's worth a try."

They explained the theory to Janet between them, sat in her office.

"Well, it would explain why we can't find a way to reverse the process," she said, nodding thoughtfully. "I suppose, if you're right, then what we're seeing is an illusion – a physical manifestation of what's going on in your mind. We can't reverse it because there's nothing to reverse." She measured out two doses of sedative and handed them each a hypodermic with a clean needle. "These should knock you out for about seven hours. I'll get someone to check on you then," she said briskly.

Back in the guest room, Daniel settled on the bed and Matt curled up next to him. Daniel carefully wrapped an arm around the younger man, the same way he always did.

"Ready?" he asked.

Matt nodded. "On three."

They both pushed down the plungers, feeling the sleepiness kick in. The needles just about made it to the bedside table before they sank into unconsciousness.

Matt's eyes flickered, then snapped open. He was back in the same damp, cold, darkened room. Harsh white light shone in the doorway. Daniel was kneeling in front of him, waiting for him.

"Daniel?" Matt whispered.

"I'm right here," he said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Matt stood up slowly, leaning on Daniel for balance. He looked normal, like he always did in these dreams.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really," Matt replied, trying to stay calm. "Let's just get this over with."

They stepped through the light and emerged, blinking, into what looked like the living room of a fairly well-off household. Something was off, though, and the details started to make themselves felt. The furnishings, while clearly expensive, were tatty and threadbare. The wallpaper and ceiling were speckled with damp. Daylight was bleeding through the closed curtains.

As they watched, a teenage boy – the young Matt – stepped hesitantly into the room. The boy was clearly seeing the room for the first time, and was drawing much the same conclusions Daniel and Matt had – that something wasn't quite right. He was closely followed by an older man with greying blond hair, a walking stick and a slight limp.

"That's Major Steward," Matt muttered to Daniel. "Ex-military big shot. I guess he must have been my carer when it happened."

"What was he like?" Daniel asked, watching the man watch the boy.

"He took all the 'troubled' kids, the ones nobody else would touch. They always said he tried so hard to help them…"

Matt tailed off as the Major attacked the teenager with his stick. The blow came from behind, to the back of his head; he was out before he hit the floor.

What happened next started to tell Matt why he couldn't remember.

Steward knelt beside the boy and roughly stripped off the shirt and trousers, throwing them carelessly to one side. He examined him briefly, then stood up and let fly with the stick, leaving huge welts and drawing blood in several places. Matt and Daniel were frozen, utterly horrified.

When the boy started to come round, Steward was smiling.

"They have to be awake the first time," he muttered to himself. "It's better that way. They learn who's master…"

Daniel tried to step forward, to yell, to do something, but Matt held him back.

"There's nothing you can do," he said. His voice was dull and emotionless. "It's just a memory."

They watched, still and silent, for what felt like hours, as the teenage Matthew became thinner and weaker and sicker. Matt wondered if Daniel knew what would happen next. He knew perfectly well this was only going to end one way.

The Major was drunk, passed out in the armchair, the drink long since soaked into the carpet. His head was tipped back, and he was snoring like an engine. The boy was half awake on the floor, lying in a small puddle of blood and tears, clutching a faded blanket. He stood up, shaky and unsteady on his feet, and walked to the kitchen. When he returned, there was a knife in his hand. The handle and the blade were already clotted with blood.

The old man never even knew he was dead.

This time, they followed the boy – or rather, the scene shifted around them.

So they could see him running a bath of cold water to be stained a sick dark red.

So they could see the neighbour come in a few hours later to find the old man dead in the armchair and the boy in the bath doing his damnedest to catch up.

So they could see the boy survive as an empty shell until a young man with dyed black hair and hazel eyes turned up and the image faded to the same damp, cold, darkened room with the harsh white light in the doorway.

The sharp pain of a punch to the jaw sent Matt staggering across the room, dazed. He looked frantically for Daniel, completely lost, unable to understand what was happening. Another hit, a body blow this time, made him double over and cry out.

"You're a monster!" someone hissed furiously, as the attacks continued to rain down. "Worse, you're a liar. You told me I was the first, that I was special. Lying bastard. You're a murderer. You sick freak, I trusted you. I trusted you and you killed him!"

Matt couldn't fight back. _Why should I?_ he thought. _It's all true. And it's Daniel saying it. What can I say to make him stop? Nothing. Nothing. It's true. I'm sorry – Daniel, I'm sorry – _

He took the blows in silence until he blacked out from the pain.

When he woke up, he was back in the guest room of the mountain. He was lying on the bed, in Daniel's arms. His shirt was damp with tears. He shivered, sickened by himself, and tried to move away. "Daniel, I'm sorry."

Daniel held onto him. "For what?" he asked gently.

"For lying to you. For letting you believe I was normal. For making you believe I was someone important and someone worth caring about. For not being able to give you what you want." Matt shivered again, trying not to just lose control.

"Matthew," Daniel said calmly, tilting the younger man's jaw to bring them eye to eye. "It was not your fault. It was self-defence. And what you saw was not real. That was not me. It was your own fears. I could see it, but I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help you." He pressed his lips against Matt's briefly, then went on. "It was not your fault. You are not a monster. You are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You are important. You are worth caring about." Another brief kiss. "I love you. I don't care what happened. I still love you."

"You have no idea how much I want to believe you," Matt said quietly.

"Believe me," Daniel replied. "I love you, and I'm not going to leave you. And I don't want to force you into something you're not ready for. I would completely understand if you never wanted to go to bed with me." _No matter how much it would hurt me that you didn't feel safe._

"No!" The force of the reply makes them both jump. Matt ducks his head. "I – I want to. I trust you." He looks up. "I love you."

When the orderly knocks on the door half an hour later, they don't open it. Yes, everything is fine. No, nobody's injured. No, they don't want Janet. Yes, they want to be alone. Go away.

"I thought he'd never leave," Matt laughs. Daniel smiles – _he laughed, he's happy_ – and kisses him. _These things take time. We'll be okay._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sad one now. Rated for a death, and mentions of serious grief/mourning.**

Part Five: Alien.

"Alright, this is going to be a weird one," Jack commented, throwing the mission brief back onto the table. "What kind of Go'auld lives peacefully?"

"Well, there are the Tok'ra," Sam pointed out, shrugging.

"Yeah, but apart from them. I mean, according to SG-9, this one isn't even the ruler, he's like their wise man or something."

"Shaman," Daniel corrected. "And maybe there are more than we think. We might just not have met them."

"Regardless, I believe we should investigate further," Teal'c replied.

"Investigate, yes. But what are you going to do?" Matt asked. "If he's not actually hurting anyone, are you just going to ask him to join the fight?"

Jack nodded. "Yep, that's about the size of it."

"And obviously learn whatever we can about the technology," Sam added.

"And any other useful stuff we pick up on the way."

_Right. Just a little mission, then_, Matt thought wryly.

"According to SG-9, the settlement is about half a mile that way, the other side of the hill," Sam called, checking the readings from the scanner. The world they met was cold and grey; winter was apparently setting in.

"Anything?" Jack replied.

"Nope. Just the usual wildlife, nothing out of the ordinary," she replied.

"So we're not in immediate danger of getting fried," Matt muttered to Daniel. "Always comforting."

Daniel just grinned. "Welcome to my world."

They decided to wait at the top of the hill and watch the shaman for a while to see what he did, rather than walking straight to the settlement ("blundering in" as Daniel put it, or "being boring" as Jack explained it).

"That's him," Sam muttered, looking through the binoculars.

"Let's have a look," Matt said. Sam passed the binoculars over, and Matt squinted down at the people moving around in the shadow of the hill.

"Is that him? Dark robes, can't see his face?"

"Is he wearing a belt?"

"No."

"That's him."

"Can't see him…" Matt mumbled, half to himself. "Come on, turn around…"

He dropped the binoculars in surprise and swore. "No. It can't be."

"What is it?" Daniel asked. He and the other three members of SG-1 were looking at Matt in surprise.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I think I have," he replied. "I have to go down there."

"Alone? No way," Jack stated. "You go down, we all go down."

"Fine. But I need to speak to this shaman alone," Matt snapped.

"Why?" Sam asked. "Who is he? Why is it so important that you talk to him?"

"Because I know him," Matt hissed. "I've met him before."

Daniel leaned over and grabbed the binoculars, squinting at the figure. He was tall, with dark hair and hazel eyes. His own mind was drawing a complete blank, but something Matt had said hinted who this 'shaman' really was.

_First real friend. First person to care about me since my parents. First person I fell in love with who didn't call me a sick freak. First person to try and understand._

He glanced over at Matt, who was pale and angry. It didn't surprise him. He didn't like taking orders at the best of times.

"Jack, you're going to have to let him go down there," he said quietly to the colonel.

"The hell I do! He's under my command, he'll follow my orders."

"No, he won't," Daniel said calmly. "He'll follow them when it suits him. The rest of the time, he's probably quite happy to sneak off alone and take the consequences."

"You've been a bad influence on him, Daniel," came the reply.

"And I've been around you too long," the archaeologist countered. "I think the best you'll get is one or two of us going down with him and the others watching from here."

Jack glared at him and turned to Sam. "Carter, have you scanned the settlement for any energy signals?"  
"Yes, sir. Nothing unusual."

"No energy weapons, generators, anything like that?"

"No, sir."

"See? If anything happens, we'll be able to defend ourselves, and you guys can warn us if anything nasty's headed our way."

"Fine," Jack muttered. "You and Carter will go down with him, and you'll stay in radio contact at all times. Clear?"

"Crystal," Matt replied coolly, standing up. "Let's go."

"Who is this guy?" Sam wondered aloud as they walked down the hill towards the village.

"No idea," Daniel replied. "I think his name's Rath. He was…" He tailed off, not sure whether to tell Sam the truth or not. It wasn't really his to tell, he decided. Let Matt explain if he wanted to. "He was a friend of Matt's. He disappeared a few months ago."

"Kidnapped?"

"Looks like it now. How he managed to get away, I don't know." He paused. "I think Matt thought he was dead."

"Why?"

"When do the Go'auld ever kidnap people? They usually just kill them, maybe torture them. I guess that's what he thought had happened." He shrugged at Sam, and jogged ahead slightly to catch up with Matt.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Silence.

"Alright, stupid question. Talk to me."

"I – I thought – he was – dead," Matt whispered. "I thought they'd – they'd – killed him–" He broke off and angrily scrubbed his face with his sleeve.

"I'm here," Daniel murmured, mentally cursing the regs that meant he couldn't just hold him. "It's okay."

Matt took a couple of shaky deep breaths, then went on: "I thought he'd been murdered because of me. Because we dared to defy the Go'auld. That's what happened to the rest of my family. But what they've done" – he dug his nails into his palm to stop himself crying again – "What they've done is worse. They've destroyed him."

They found the shaman sat outside his hut, stirring something cooking over a fire and talking to one of the people. The conversation ended as they approached, as the villager muttered hastily, "May the gods be with you," and departed. The shaman looked up at them, curious.

"Who are you? How did you get here?"

"We're peaceful explorers, from a planet called Earth," Sam said quickly. "We came here through the Stargate."

Matt stood back, watching him. The shaman held his gaze for a moment, then looked back to Sam.

"You are not servants of our great god Wotan, may his light shine forever?"

"No, we're not."

"Good! Never had much time for him anyway. Always going on about immortality and sins and such. I ask you. What do I want with immortality?"

Matt smiled faintly. "Rath?"

The shaman looked back to him, squinting, as if he couldn't quite see properly. "Who are you?"

Matt looked like he'd been punched. Daniel quickly took over. "Where are you from?"

The shaman frowned. "I'm not sure. Not here. I've been here for many years, and yet it's never felt like home. Too cold. The light isn't right. The food tastes strange." He shrugged. "Maybe I'm just getting old."

"You don't belong here."

The shaman laughed. "And who are you, exactly, to tell me where I do or do not belong?"

Matt stepped forward, out of the shadows. "Angel."

The shaman laughed again, but this time it rang hollow. "You're not Angel. Angel's dead, long dead. He wasn't even real. I made him up, years ago. I was mad. How do you know about him?"

"I'm Angel," Matt replied. "Not dead. Not imaginary. Just on the wrong side of the galaxy." He reached forward and gently pushed down the shaman's hood. "Rath, what happened? What did they do to you?"

The face looking back wasn't the Rath who had disappeared just a few months ago. This Rath was old long before his time, his dark hair streaked with grey and his eyes milky and unfocused. The shaman was staring at Matt as if seeing him for the first time. "But you can't be…" he muttered. "They said you weren't real… that none of this was real…"

"Trust me," Matt whispered. "I'm here, I'm real, and I'm not leaving you behind."

Rath was shaking as he spoke. "Not even… not even after I left you behind?"

"It wasn't your fault. You were stolen." Matt's voice could have cut steel. "And I will get them back. Just watch me." He sighed sadly, and gently brushed away a lock of greying hair from Rath's eyes.

The old man smiled faintly. "I'll be gone before I see your revenge."

"Don't talk like that," Matt said quietly. "You're coming with us. There must be some way to reverse the process." He looked back to Sam and Daniel. "Right?"

Sam didn't quite meet his gaze. "I don't know."

"Angel, I can't." Rath took Matt's hand, forcing him to pay attention. "I am not myself any longer. They gave me a parasite. I am fighting it, but some day it will win. It will take over me, and I will be lost." He looked the younger man straight in the eyes. "I do not want to die that way. Please. Remember what we promised."

"No! Rath, no," Matt pleaded. "There has to be another way."

The shaman shook his head. "I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen."

"Me neither," Matt said wryly, despite the tears forming in his eyes.

Daniel and Sam looked at each other, frowning in confusion.

"Matt, what are you talking about?" Daniel asked hesitantly.

"A suicide pact," Matt replied. "Well, voluntary homicide. We promised each other years ago, when we first met, that if either of us were ever taken as a host, the other would kill them."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because we wanted to die on our own terms, as ourselves," Rath said calmly. "And because the parasite is usually vindictive enough to seek out former friends and torture or kill them. It was our way of trying to save each other." He stood slowly, wincing in pain. Matt scrubbed his face with his sleeve and pulled Rath into a hug.

"I will never, ever forget you. And I will never, ever forgive them for what they've done to you," he told the old man as he pulled away. Rath smiled tiredly.

"If I know you, you're going to annihilate them, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah," Matt muttered softly. "Count on it." He took a breath, and spoke a little louder.

"I'm sorry we had to end like this."

"Yeah," Rath said sadly. "Me too."

Matt fired the zat gun twice, catching Rath's body as it convulsed from the energy. He was almost cradling the body, shaking with unshed tears. Neither Sam nor Daniel said anything, until the radio sparked into life.

"Carter, what the hell's going on down there? I just saw someone get shot!"

Sam sighed. "Sir, it's a long story, I'll explain later."

Matt stood up carefully, carrying Rath's body in his arms. He was deathly pale and shaking, but the tears had gone.

"We need to dial my home world," he said, his voice dull and empty. "He was my friend. He deserves a decent burial."

The three of them walked back up the hill in silence. Daniel and Sam stayed back, almost afraid to speak and break Matt's concentrated stillness. Jack and Teal'c were waiting by the gate – mission accomplished, just a short detour on the way home. They buried the body in the woods outside the city where Rath had grown up, under a willow tree. The message carved into the bark simply read: _Never forgotten_.

That night, Daniel barely slept. He was terrified; Matt just seemed so _broken_ by his loss. All he could do was be there, and hold on.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Really nasty one now. Rated for swearing, serious violence, evangelical Christianity and another character nearly being killed off. On another note, points for anyone who gets the accidental MCR reference.**

Part Six: Runaway.

As the next few days passed, Matt seemed a little better. The emptiness had faded, replaced by, if not calmness, then at least acceptance. He knew perfectly well that, whatever had happened to Rath, he wasn't being tortured by the parasite any more. Daniel was just relieved that Matt wasn't about to commit suicide, as he'd thought in some of the night's darker moments. Both went back to work and settled back into the routine: driving to the mountain at slightly different times, working on whatever translations were most urgent or most interesting, driving back to the apartment at different times, and spending the few brief hours in the evening together.

After two particularly nasty off-world missions (one involving violent warriors who tried to kill them as Go'auld, and the other involving some vicious in-group political backstabbing), both Daniel and Matt were shattered. They'd been given two days downtime, and when Matt wandered into his office in normal clothes at ten to six, Daniel knew he could probably be home in ten minutes.

"Hey," Matt said, smiling tiredly. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Daniel replied, standing up and gently holding him.

Matt laughed quietly. "I sometimes think those will be your last words: 'I'm fine.'"

"I know," Daniel smiled. "You're making a break for it, then?"

"I think so. I was trying to translate something in Ancient, and I gave up when I realised I'd accidentally translated the same line twice."

"Did you get the same translation both times?" Daniel asked in mock-seriousness.

"Apart from one minor detail, yes," Matt replied dryly. "At least I know that bit of my brain still works, even if the rest doesn't."

Daniel smiled and kissed him briefly. "Go home."

"Will do," Matt nodded. "Want me to pick up a takeaway on the way?"

"Oh god, yes," Daniel laughed. "I'll see you in about half an hour, then."

"Yeah, see you."

"Love you."

"Bye." Matt ducked out of the office and ran for the lift. "Hold it!" He smiled gratefully at the two Marines who held the doors. "Thanks."

"You out, then?" one of them asked.

"Yeah. Two days off, so I'm going home," Matt explained. "Chinese takeaway, wine, and a night in."

"Nice for some," the other one laughed. It wasn't a particularly nice, you-and-I-are-friends kind of laugh, it was more of a let's-see-how-long-you-last kind of laugh. Matt was too tired to notice, or to care, so he laughed along and forgot the two marines as soon as he was on the surface. He swung into the battered black Volvo (one dented door panel, one dinged wing-mirror, more scratches than he'd bothered to count) and drove off. He didn't notice the low murmur of a car starting up behind him, or maybe he would have thought twice.

Daniel glanced up at the clock and grimaced. Ten past six. Time to get out before he fell asleep at the desk. He grabbed his jacket off the chair and wandered down to the locker rooms to shower and change. The hot water made him feel slightly more alert, although the cup of coffee that followed (the tenth? Eleventh? He'd lost count, which was never a good sign) probably had more effect.

"Sam? You going home tonight?" he asked, sticking his head round her door. She looked up and smiled wearily.

"In about five minutes. Coming back in tomorrow?"

"Not if I can help it," he replied dryly. "Are you?"

She gestured helplessly to the device sat on the table in a tangle of wires. "Looks like it."

"It's a compulsion, isn't it?" he smiled. She laughed.

"Don't try and tell me you've never pulled an all-nighter, Daniel Jackson. I won't believe you."

"Yeah, but not tonight," he laughed. "Tonight, I'm eating Chinese, drinking some decent wine and sleeping until ten tomorrow morning."

"Have fun," Sam called as he disappeared.

Daniel frowned in puzzlement as he pulled into the apartment lot. The lights in his windows weren't on, and as he looked around he realised Matt's battered Volvo was distinctly absent as well.

"Must be a queue in the restaurant," he mumbled to himself, shrugging in vague puzzlement and discontent. He pulled on his jacket and locked the car, making his way slowly up the stairs.

Matt grinned as he scrambled back into the car, the food in the bag stowed safely on the passenger seat. As the engine reluctantly growled into life, he idly flicked through the stations on the radio. Deciding there was nothing of any real interest, he turned it off again and drove away in silence.

It was gone nine when Daniel gave up on any hope of Chinese and made sandwiches from some hard rolls and butter – no cheese, it had been thrown away when Matt had noticed the mould colonising its surface. He sighed angrily to himself and flicked through the TV channels, hoping for something to pull him out of his bored, irritated state. No such luck. Tonight was reality-show night, and he threw the remote down on the sofa in disgust, leaning over and grabbing a book off the shelf.

As the lights from the restaurant faded to a dull orange glow, Matt noticed a car pulled up at the side of the road. Someone bent over the engine looked up, seeing his lights, and signalled frantically for him to stop.

"What's up?" he asked, pulling in behind the parked car and rolling down his window.

"Oh, thank God you've turned up," the dark-haired stranger said. "Seriously, I was beginning to think I'd be stuck here all night. It's nothing really major, but I need, like, three pairs of hands to fix it." He laughed in a self-deprecating kind of way. "Really, I just need someone to hold the water line in place while I screw it back up. Please, man, can you give me a hand? Just five minutes?"

Matt shrugged. "Sure, I guess." He unclicked the seatbelt and made his way to the other side of the engine, where the stranger guided his hands into place.

"That's it, there… now…"

The book long since abandoned, Daniel muttered a few further curses at Matt as he lay on the bed, nursing a glass of red wine. It was half-past twelve, and he'd been gone for more than six hours. Truth be told, he was starting to get a little worried beneath the frustration at his boyfriends' non-appearance. Part of him was panicking that something had happened, that Matt had been assaulted and was lying bleeding in an alley someplace. The currently louder part was mentally deriving scenes of Matt in a strip club, or at a bar, flirting with someone else, getting pissed and having a great time without him. He knew perfectly well that this was about as likely as Matt coming home with a baby armadillo. It didn't help, and another sigh left him as he took another swig of the wine.

When Matt woke up, he was tied to a chair in a warehouse. The bright lights on the ceiling stung viciously, and he winced in the harsh white glare. When his vision returned, he was able to see the two marines from earlier that evening – the ones who'd held the lift for him. One was wielding a baseball bat; the other, a cruel-looking switchblade. As he tried to struggle against his bonds, he realised with a creeping sense of sick dread that he couldn't move. All he could control were his facial muscles and some of the tendons in his neck.

As the two men moved towards him, he knew he wouldn't even be able to scream.

Daniel knew even as he woke up that it had to be just a dream. It couldn't be real, it was just the product of an intoxicated and fearful mind.

When he heard the noise again – that soft whimper, combined with the noise of someone dragging themselves across the floor – he cursed the gods internally in every language he knew, and ran towards the source of the noise. It was coming from the bathroom, and going by that sound it was not going to be a pretty sight. Sure enough, what greeted him made him feel genuinely ill, both out of disgust and fear. Matt was lying on the floor of the bathroom, having clearly been sick. By the look of it, he'd been throwing up blood. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, his eyes unfocused. Every few seconds, he would stop breathing, then cough and shudder violently as his body reacted against the lack of oxygen.

"Janet, help me."

By the time they got Matt to the Infirmary at the SGC, he was on a ventilator and a heart monitor. He was missing every second or third breath, and he'd thrown up more blood and vomit. He was still unconscious.

"It looks like an extreme allergic reaction to something," Janet managed to tell Daniel in one of the calmer moments, once they'd stabilised him. They were sat beside Matt's bed, watching him. "He's been injected with some kind of paralytic drug, and his body has reacted by going close to anaphylactic shock. I think you were very lucky to find him when you did – if he'd been left much longer, I think he'd have gone into a coma."

"Is he going to be okay?"

Janet sighed. "Daniel, I can't answer that because right now, I don't know. He's stable right now, but it's difficult to know how he'll respond to what we're giving him. If it was an allergic reaction, then I don't know what it was a reaction to, so anything we do has the potential to make things worse."

Daniel tried to smile. "Thanks."

"We're doing our best, okay?" Janet sighed helplessly and went back to her office. As soon as she'd gone, Daniel collapsed, resting his head on the sheets and gently taking Matt's hand.

"Please wake up," he mumbled. The fact that it wouldn't help at all didn't change the fact that just saying the words made him feel slightly better. "I will find out who did this. I'll never let them hurt you. I promise." He glanced up as he heard footsteps coming towards him and hastily let go of Matt's hand. Sitting up seemed like too much effort.

Jack rested a hand on his shoulder. "Daniel? What happened?"

So Daniel told him.

"Holy shit," Jack muttered, when Daniel had finished his retelling of the night's events. "Daniel, are you okay?"

Daniel just nodded. "I'm fine." The memory of Matt's comment the previous evening – _I think those will be your last words_ – rang through his mind.

Jack glared at him, his expression showing exactly what he thought of that reply. "Get some sleep. Shower. Have something more than a chocolate bar to eat. You're not going to help him by working yourself into the ground trying to figure out who's responsible for this." He looked searchingly at the younger man. _There's more here than he's telling me._ "Daniel, what is going on?"

The archaeologist glared back at him. "It's none of your business, Jack."

"It is if it means you drive yourself nuts!" Jack responded. "Tell me. I might be able to help."

"I doubt that very much," Daniel muttered under his breath. "And I don't trust you to keep our – my – secrets."

"_Our_ secrets?" Jack left the question hanging.

"Matthew's and mine. Jack, you're a military man – if something compromises me, or him, you have a duty to take it to the next level. You could easily get us both kicked out of the SGC. Please," Daniel said quietly. "Jack, for once in your life, please, just let it be."

The colonel held his gaze. "Bullshit. You two are the best that we've got. The higher-ups aren't going to get rid of you unless you go on a murderous rampage, which will only happen when hell freezes over and Carter decides to retrain as a psychic. Just tell me. Before it gets you lying in the next bed, preferably."

Daniel's eyes flicked around the room. Aside from Matt, in the bed, himself, and Jack, they were alone. He sighed quietly.

"You do realise that DADT still applies to us." He watched the cogs whirr behind Jack's eyes, moving from blank incomprehension to shock to faint amusement.

"Well, that explains a lot."

"Like what? That both of us are outsiders? That we're both the subject of harassment and bullying?" Daniel snapped at him.

"I was thinking more along the lines of your preference for a nice red wine over a bottle of beer, and history over hockey, but hey, whatever floats your boat."

Daniel laughed. It was the first time something had made him smile all evening.

"Besides," Jack added. "As long as you don't start something _here_, it'll be okay. Hammond won't give a damn. As long as it stays outside the mountain, nobody will either know or care. Just give it some time."

Daniel ended up staying with Matt most of the night, after showering and curling up on the next bed. He was there when Matt nearly died, and he was there when he came round.

"Ugh… head hurts…"

"Water?" Daniel asked quietly, offering him the glass. Matt reached for it, then saw how badly he was shaking. Wordlessly, Daniel took a straw off the bedside table and handed it to him.

"Better?"

"Much. Less sandpapery." He set the glass down gently on the table.

"Do you know what happened to you?"

"Hazy on the details, but yes."

"Any idea who it was?"

"Not a fucking clue." He shivered slightly, and Daniel leant forward and pulled the sheets closer around him. It made him smile. "That's weird."

"What's weird?"

"I'm being mother-henned by someone who barely takes care of themselves."

Daniel giggled. "Shut up. I'm not taking chances here."

"I'm not actually that bad," Matt said hopefully. "Can't I just go home?"

Janet sighed. "No. We're keeping you under observation until I'm satisfied that the drug has worked itself out of your system. If you can keep your lunch down, I might consider it." She checked his read-outs again, made a note, and went back to her office.

"Don't try and argue with Little Napoleon," Daniel said wryly, as she disappeared from sight. "You won't get anywhere. In fact, she will keep you in longer, just to spite you."

Matt groaned softly. "Break me out?"

"Not for love nor money," Daniel replied. "Trust me. It is not worth the hassle." He smiled faintly, checked there was no-one else around, and kissed the younger man's lips briefly. "I'm going to go and find some stuff we can work on down here – keep your brain occupied."

"Stop me going mad with boredom, you mean," Matt called back as Daniel walked out. The archaeologist paid little attention to the two soldiers going past him on his way. Maybe if he had, something might have got his attention. As it was, he just carried on.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?" Ashley muttered. He was the shorter of the two, muscular, with white-blond hair and green eyes. He saw himself as the all-American guy, and it showed. The cross around his neck – silver, matching his dog-tags – swung gently back and forth as he leaned over Matt. "Didn't you get the message, faggot? We don't want you. We don't need you." He wrapped the fingers of one hand around Matt's throat, just tight enough to reduce his air supply. "Get. Out."

"We gotta go," Jake muttered, idly fiddling with his own silver crucifix. "Napoleon's coming back." He was taller, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. While he wasn't as muscular, he was more vindictive and imaginative in his threats to compensate. "And you don't need to threaten him."

"But it's fun," Ashley protested, still throttling Matt.

"But you don't need to. All you have to do to get him out of here is threaten his precious boyfriend, and he'll do anything you want." The words were like shards of glass to Matt, and he knew they were right. _Damn him. I'd do anything to protect Daniel. And he knows it._

Ashley grinned. "All right, freak. You've got two days to quit and never show your filthy face round here again. Otherwise your pretty boyfriend might not be so pretty any more." He tightened his grip briefly, then dropped him, as if Matt was nothing more than a doll. "Let's go."

As they walked out, it took all of Matt's self-control not to sob. He held it down, held his breath and locked the emotions in the black box in the back of his head. _Deal with that later._

When Daniel returned, he found Matt curled under the sheets, gripping one corner tightly in his right hand. That alone was enough to set off his internal radar: Matt barely ever did that unless freezing cold, stressed, or afraid. But the look in his eyes was worse.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Matt didn't look him in the eye. "Nothing. Everything's fine. I'm just tired. My insides feel like I've been put through a blender."

"Maybe we'll hold off on the translations today, then," Daniel replied, setting the work down on the table. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Matt nodded. "Want to go home."

"I know," Daniel murmured, taking his hand. "I know."

As it happened, Matt was released the next day, under Daniel's watch. The archaeologist was given strict instructions as to what to do and what should happen, about this and that and enough other things to make his head spin.

"She's trying to confuse me so much I just give in and let her keep you in the Infirmary," he commented as he walked with Matt to the lift. Ashley and Jake walked past, going the other way, and roughly pushed Matt to the wall as he fell into step behind Daniel. It wasn't hard, but the meaning was clear: _get lost_.

"Are you going to come back in tomorrow?" Daniel asked, breaking into his thoughts.

Matt looked up. "Oh – um – unlikely. I'm tired. I think I'll just stay at home and try to catch up on some rest," he said quickly. Daniel nodded.

"Fair enough." Daniel knew perfectly well there was something else going on, but decided not to push it. _Not tonight. Not when he's just out of the Infirmary. Tomorrow. _

That night, Matt mumbled, very quietly, "I want to leave. I want to go home."

Daniel very nearly had a heart attack. "What?"

Matt looked down, shamefaced. "I want to go home."

"What's happened? What's wrong?" He couldn't understand. _What is going on here?_

"This isn't right. I don't belong here." _I love you, Daniel, but all I'm going to do is get you hurt._ "Please. Just take me home."

"He _what_?"

"He said he wants to go home – to his home world. He wants to leave the SGC and go back where he feels he belongs."

Hammond looked at him calmly. "Daniel, I won't allow it. At least, not until he can stand here and explain himself. What brought this on?"

Daniel glanced back at the door, checking it was shut. "I think something has happened to him that's linked to the SGC. He wants to go home because he's afraid to stay here."

"You think someone here planned the attack on him?"

"I don't know, sir. But whoever it was had to know where Matt would be and when. This wasn't just a random attack, this was a calculated beating. Someone here has a grudge against him."

"Why would anyone want to hurt Matt?"

Daniel sighed briefly. "DADT. Someone must have worked it out. Homophobia isn't exactly unheard of here."

The general sighed sadly. "If only people's beliefs could keep up with their intellect. See what you can find out."

"Alright, what do you want me to look for?" Sam asked, swivelling in her chair to look at Daniel.

"Can you pull up the security tapes for the corridor outside the Infirmary about two days ago?"

She nodded, flicking through the records. "Here we go." She frowned, squinting at the screen.

"What is it?" Daniel asked.

"The camera's blurred. Somebody's been messing with things. Either the lens is out of focus, or someone has deliberately gone back over this footage to make it look like the camera was damaged."

"Can you work out the difference?"

"Probably. But it would take a while. Let's see what we can learn from this first."

They ran the film at high speed, looking for anything unusual.

"You get anything?"

Daniel shrugged. "Could be nothing. Who are those two?"

"No idea. Marines. We could look them up, but they were probably just checking up on a buddy on the ward."

Daniel shook his head. "No, they weren't. There was no-one else there that day."

"Okay… Hold that thought. What else did we need?"

"Corridor leading to the lift, yesterday evening, around half-five."

"Alright… Hey, this has definitely been messed with." The footage from the camera was blurred enough to make figures indistinguishable from each other. "That can be cleaned up later too."

"And the last one? Same corridor, same camera, but the night Matt was attacked."

Sam flicked through the options, pulling up the film. "It's clean."

They watched Matt walking down the corridor, running for the lift and getting in.

"Who's in the lift with him?"

"Don't know. We went too far forward, hang on…" She hastily rewound the film.

Two marines – one white-blond, one dark-haired – walked into the lift.

"That must be them."

"Matches what we already had. I mean, you can mess with the film all you like, but there's no way you can hide that hair."

"Who are they?"

"No idea. Give me a minute." Sam sighed in frustration. "Shit. You can't search by image. Do we know anything else about them?"

"One or both of them must be security detail," Daniel said. "That's how they got to the film."

"So why not mess with this one?"

"Too obvious. It would have given it away that it was them."

"Damned if they did, damned because they didn't," Sam commented, carefully flicking through the profiles.

"Serve them right," Daniel muttered.

After several minutes of patient searching and comparison, they got the hits they were hoping for.

"Ashley Sanders is the blond one, and the dark-haired one is Jake Williamson. Ashley is a sergeant, mostly working with new recruits, and Jake is a security guy who – surprise surprise – works with the surveillance team." Sam turned back and looked at Daniel. "Do you know why they hate Matt so much?"

"Because they're both stupid bastards," Daniel commented sarcastically. "That, or they're just plain old evangelicals."

"Revenge?"

"Best served cold. Antarctica style." Daniel turned and walked out. Sam leaned back in the chair, mentally replaying the conversation. She hadn't had a real answer out of Daniel as to why these two hated Matt so much, although he definitely knew. And the 'evangelicals' comment earlier – when he was usually so aware of other belief systems and cultures.

"I'm not asking, you're not telling," she muttered under her breath. "Damn Republicans."

Hammond glanced up, hearing the knock on the door. "Come in."

Daniel stepped inside, closing the door quietly.

"Did you find out who it was?"

The archaeologist nodded, setting two files down on the desk. Hammond looked through both in turn, skimming the details on the front page.

"I have to admit, I'm not too surprised that these two were at the root of it."

"You knew?" Daniel was taken aback.

"I had my suspicions. I grew up in Texas, I know a Bible basher a mile off." The general sighed sadly. "I'm disappointed they've not grown out of it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Depends. I could just sack them. Or I could bring them in here and humiliate them. Or I could post them to Antarctica and let the guys down there figure out what to do with them."

Daniel smiled. "I suggest humiliation, with a side order of snow and ice."

"I'll see to it. Now go and tell Matt that things are going to be fine. Dismissed."

Daniel didn't need telling twice. He was smiling as he sprinted for the lift.

"Matt?"

He found the younger man curled up in a corner of the bedroom. He'd half-hidden himself under the blankets.

"Matt, it's okay. I know what happened. I know who it was." Daniel knelt down and gently unhooked the blankets from around Matt's skinny form. "And I also know that right now, they're on a plane to the outpost in Antarctica." He smiled. "It's okay. Things will be fine. You've still got your job, but Hammond's given us two days off."

Tentatively, Matt reached one hand out towards Daniel. "Should we pick up where we left off?"


End file.
